


Celebration

by Lolsnake9



Category: Green Lantern (Comics), Green Lantern - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Dark Crack, M/M, Minor Character Death, Necrophilia, Weddings, just William being a creepy goof he is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:19:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22863904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolsnake9/pseuds/Lolsnake9
Summary: William Hand finally gets a chance to marry his love at last.
Relationships: William Hand/Hal Jordan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	Celebration

**Author's Note:**

> welp I actually intended this to be a light hearted black comedy but it somehow ended up being much darker than what I initially thought up
> 
> enjoy I guess
> 
> (also, listen to this while reading for maximum experience: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qb4RFi4xAb0)

He had never expected this day to come.

Even as a kid, the concepts of romance and weddings have never interested William. Such superficial, worldly concepts which people endless tire over had meant little to him.

Because at the end of the day, those things will come to an end eventually, just like everything else in the world. It was something he had learned over the years, often seeing how much widows and widowers grieve over their dead spouses. All claimed by the unchanging certainty known as death, the one thing he had known and loved for as long as he could remember.

But here he was. Together with his beloved Hal Jordan by his side at the aisle, as they were about to exchange vows.

Their wedding was set in an abandoned church near Coast City’s cemetery, since it was the place he liked the most. On the front left side of the aisle was his family; while on the right was Hal’s. Even with how much he had always been ostracized by his family William was still quite grateful they had still been willing to join him in the happiest day of his life _(well, not like they could actually refuse since it was him who controlled them, but still)_. Filling the back rows were the many people he had raised from the cemetery make his wedding an especially _deadly_ one, just how he has always liked it.

William looked at his bridegroom, Hal’s right arm wrapped around his own left one. Ah, he is just so beautiful like this, wearing the fanciest tux with those empty eye sockets and rotting flesh! He had almost shed a tear when Martin Jordan walked his son down the aisle, especially since he knew how Hal must have been looking forward to this too.

United in death, as they should have always been.

Though it had been quite troublesome when Hal repeatedly rejected his propositions, William did finally manage to kill him so they could finally be together like this. And for that matter killing the rest of Hal’s family too, but hey, he did have to make sure none of them got left out of the celebration, after all!

William couldn’t resist breaking out a large smile as he continued looking at his beautiful husband-to-be.

“I truly can’t believe this day has come.” He said, his grin becoming wider.

“Do you remember the first time we met? We were so different back then. You were a Green Lantern, and I was a mere outcast of my family. Back then I had tried to kill you because of your obnoxiously bright light. And then….death claimed you, as it had for everything else before, and will continue doing so. And it should have always stayed that way. But then you came back. You have tried foolishly to escape death who one day shall bring an end to everything anyway. But well, we don’t have to worry about that now, do we?”

William waited for an answer from Hal, who kept on standing there motionlessly and being dead. Nevertheless, William grinned again.

“See, I know you’re getting impatient too! Me too, dear, me too. Ah, just think of all the lovely things we’ll do together! Going on a honeymoon, preparing dinners for all of our families to enjoy....well, I supposed with all that said, we shouldn’t waste any time!”

William went to stand in front of Hal, holding both of his hands just like couples usually do when exchanging vows. In front of them at the altar was a (dead) priest William had chosen specifically for this occasion. _(the thing was he couldn’t find a legitimate priest, so he had to pick a random corpse and just put priest clothes on him. Oh well, it would work the same anyway_ _, William had thought.)_

“Do you, William Hand, promise to take Harold Jordan, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health?” said William while controlling the priest and acting as if he was the one saying it, to which William replied, “I do.”

“Do you, Harold Jordan, promise to take William Hand, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health?” he continued. William waited for Hal to answer, until he finally replied himself, “…I do.”

William then took out a diamond ring, which he had taken off of a random female corpse, and slipped it on Hal’s finger. He had been tempted to use the Black Lantern ring, but decided to go a more traditional route instead. There would be plenty of time for _that_.

“Now, you may kiss the bridegroom.” William said again before he pulled Hal into a kiss. The entire church was soon filled with an uproarious applause from the guests as flowers were thrown into the air. William pulled away from the kiss and grinned again as he cupped Hal’s face.

“Now….we are never going to be separated again, you and I.”

**Author's Note:**

> I gotta be honest, Black Hand (and by extension, this pairing) is one of the things I never expected to like as much as I do now. He was already a great necrophiliac creep in Geoff Johns’ run, and Venditti’s run made him a comedic but still clearly threatening figure. I still love that circus scene.
> 
> Ngl, I wish there were more to this pairing, though only if for the potential black(hah)-comedy creep factor. That graveyard scene in n52 GL had a lot of horny energy. Ah, why do I always love Hal getting creeped on by cosmic baddies? (I mean, I can’t be the only one, right?)


End file.
